Good Plans Gone Bad

I know, it’s the holidays and I am running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off just like all you other chicks out there. But I felt that it was my duty to sit down and write a little story to warn you unsuspecting crafter wannabes about what can happen when you think that a craft is just too easy to be true.

Case in point, the lovely little Christmas tree in a jar. I know what you’re thinking (because it is just what I thought). “What a simple little craft…I have a blue mason jar, wouldn’t it look lovely with a little tree inside, nestled in the snow?” It is at this point that someone should come up and slap some sense into you.

Here is my story. I saw this little tree in a jar on the Art of Doing Stuff blog which I follow religiously. I can’t say enough good things about this blog and this story in no way is directed at any fault on the part of Karen’s instructions on how to make this wonder of wonders. And by the way, my finished product does not look like Karen’s example…at all.

The supplies needed sounded so simple: a blue mason jar (check), Epsom salts (check, or so I thought), a small Christmas tree and a small string of white battery operated lights. Easy peasy, right? So, off I go in search of my supplies. First stop, the Dollar Tree; no little tree, no lights, and a call to my honey to double check the Epsom salts, (nope used them last winter to try to melt snow on the steps). I did find the salts (check).

After visits to every store that had “dollar” in it’s name I still had nothing more than stinkin’ Epsom salts. So, on to stores with the word “mart” in their name. Nada, zip, nothing. I did find plug-in white lights, those would work, right? Wrong. The lights had to be coiled up and placed at the bottom of the jar with the salts covering them. What I realized, as I was trying unsuccessfully to wrestle them into the jar, was that their cord was much thicker than the battery operated lights so the lid wouldn’t have fit over them even if I had conquered their unruly behavior. That Karen is a smart girl. Okay, so scrap the plug-in lights. What was the point anyway, I still hadn’t found the ignorant little tree.

cb tree

My last resort was going to the store that will suck every brain cell out of your head the minute you walk in the door, Hobby Lobby. (I have set a record of 4 hours shopping in that store and by the time I came out, I couldn’t remember my name or where I parked the car) After much searching high and low, I finally spotted it. On the lowest shelf, in the farthest corner of the store, I found one… scraggly… little tree. It wasn’t the beautiful plush looking tree like the one Karen used, it was more in the line of the tree that Charlie Brown used. But, it was a tree and it was small enough to cram in that stupid jar with the stupid Epsom salts snow!.

Now,  I still had to find the battery operated lights. I found them with green cords and red lights, white cords and green lights, but none were to be found with white lights with a white cord. At this point I am ready to pitch the whole thing out in the back yard with the dogs and say, “Here you go, dogs, Merry Freakin’ Christmas!”

I did what any self-respecting menopausal woman at the end of her rope would do…went home, took a chill pill (you know the kind), and started digging though my Christmas stuff, where I found a battery operated set of white lights with a green cord.

It was at that point that I made the decision to screw the snow, screw the Charlie Brown Christmas tree and I wrapped those green corded lights around that green CB tree and crammed it into the jar. Yes, crammed.
There. Project finished. So, now it’s time to just sit back and admire my handiwork.

Only one problem…I forgot the batteries.

 

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